When wowOwow asked us to write an article on how to be the Queen of Decision Making, we said "piece of cake" and raced to our desks. Seven false starts and a blank page later, we Skyped each other and just laughed at the irony. We could not decide how to begin a piece on decision making.The irony of our writer’s block is that in the span of one day we make hundreds of decisions quickly and easily: snooze button or get up; white blouse or blue blouse; salad or French fries. Why is it that every so often when trying to make a decision we second guess ourselves?
Recent research involving brain scans shows that women take into account thousands of facts and emotions every time they make a decision. (No wonder we’re tired.) We mentally scan our own human database of past experiences to help us with our next decision. Even for everyday activities, we’re mulling through our brain files, and we’ve gotten so accustomed to these choices that we can do it at lightning speed. This is not the case when it comes to more complex situations: buy or rent; retire or not; undergo risky procedure or live in pain; divorce or stay wed.
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When the answer doesn’t come easily, we continually sort through our mental filing cabinet — picking the situation apart. We usually are asking ourselves the following questions:
• Have I ever experienced something like this before?
• What was the outcome?
• Would I have done this differently if I’d known then what I know now?
• Do I still want the same outcome?
• Did my decision have an impact on others?
• How did I feel after I made that decision?
• Am I still happy with that decision?
• Is this decision really like that other one?
We process the data until we come to a conclusion. When this system is working for us we are swiftly making decisions with the same instinct and cool self-assurance as Anna Wintour putting out the September issue of Vogue. When a situation is stickier than usual, here are four easy tips to make the decision-making process run more smoothly:
1. Faith in Yourself. Say this aloud when you’re completely confused: "I have enough experience in life to at least make a decision!" Even if you’ve made bad decisions in life – and everyone’s guilty of it – you’ve ultimately experienced the outcome and learned something from it. Instincts have gotten you this far, so listen and trust them. The truth is we are very rarely called upon to make a decision where one choice is 100 percent right, so go with your gut.
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2. Keep It Simple. When you’re stuck in a rut, ask yourself these three questions: 1) What do I want to do? 2) What am I able to do? 3) What am I willing to do? This final question is the most important one – if you’re not willing to go forward with something, and you do it anyway, there’s a greater chance that you won’t feel fulfilled in the end.
3. Surround Yourself With the Best. Share your situation with unbiased friends and family. Talk to people who will listen and give you advice based only on your best interests without considering their own feelings or needs. Often just explaining our rationale to another person helps sort the dilemma and find out what we truly want, are able and willing to do.
4. Let It Go. Life is too short for regrets. So after you make the decision, don’t harp on it. No matter what the outcome – good or bad – the experience will be stored in your mental filing cabinet, available for retrieval when necessary.
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